Checkups, Stigma, and Silence: Why Men Stay Away From the Doctor

Over the years, Tyler Waldorf has avoided scheduling routine doctors’ visits. The reasons have shifted—from fear to frustration to inconvenience—but the habit of postponing care has remained. For many men, avoidance isn’t just a personal quirk. It’s part of a broader trend rooted in cultural norms, limited health literacy, and health systems not built to engage them early.

“I don’t make it a priority,” says Waldorf, a Kansas City-based consultant and artist. “I just keep putting it off.”

Waldorf isn’t alone. The data paint a troubling picture: Men in the U.S. die nearly six years earlier than women, on average, largely due to preventable or manageable conditions. Yet many still avoid care until something is wrong.

The consequences of skipping routine health care include:

Cardiovascular disease: Men are nearly 50% more likely to die of heart disease than women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Cancer: The American Cancer Society estimates that one in two men will develop cancer in their lifetime, compared to one in three women. The most common cancer types in men include prostate, lung, colorectal, bladder, and melanoma.

Suicide: Men are four times more likely than women to die by suicide, according to the National Institute of Mental Health—yet they’re significantly less likely to seek help for mental health concerns.

Like many men, Waldorf’s early avoidance of health care was rooted in a sense of invincibility. As a healthy college student and then a young professional, he saw little need to carve out time for a doctor to confirm what he already felt—that everything was fine.

Later, coming out added another layer to the equation. He wanted a provider who was both clinically competent and culturally attuned to the needs of a gay man.

“That just added another layer,” he said.

Waldorf’s hesitation eventually evolved into a pattern familiar to many men: delays tied to cost, long wait times, difficulty finding the right provider, and what he calls the “if-it’s-not-broke-don’t-fix-it” mindset.

“You get to a place where ignorance is bliss,” he said. “If I go, they may give me bad news.”

Routine care often begins with a clear entry point—but for many men, that door never opens. Unlike women, who are frequently connected to health systems through reproductive care, men may go years without seeing a provider unless something goes wrong. Many don’t know what screenings they should be getting or when.

Manuel Solano, M.D., director of behavioral health at Samuel U. Rodgers Health Center, said the list of recommended screenings depends on a man’s medical history, but certain basics apply to most.

Annually, they should have:

A physical
Blood pressure screening
Cholesterol check
Skin cancer check

As men age, they should add:

Diabetes screening (age 45)
Colorectal screening (age 45)
Prostate exam (age 50)
Abdominal aortic aneurysm screening (age 65)

Solano said many public campaigns focus on telling men what they need to do—but overlook why so many never follow through. In many cases, health messaging isn’t designed to resonate with men at all. Campaigns tend to be generic or family-focused, with few materials written specifically for male audiences.

At Sam Rodgers, he works with patients from a wide range of cultural backgrounds. Norms surrounding masculinity and self-reliance still discourage many men from asking for help. He also noted that patients who are Black or Hispanic often arrive with justified skepticism, shaped by negative experiences in a health care system that has historically failed them. And for men born outside the United States, annual checkups may never have been part of a standard care routine.

But culture, Solano said, is no longer the greatest barrier. Today, the more reliable predictor of whether a man gets regular care is education—because education affects nearly every other factor, from income and insurance coverage to time off work, access to transportation, and the ability to navigate a complex system.

People often lose access to care when a provider leaves or a referral gets delayed, and no one follows up. These gaps in the system can cause men to miss critical diagnoses—not because they’re ignoring their health, but because they never received the support to stay engaged in care.

“We blame the user,” Solano said, “because we don’t want to take a look at the systems that are creating barriers.”

In many cases, health messaging isn’t designed to resonate with men at all. Campaigns tend to be generic or family-focused, with few materials written specifically for male audiences. Without consistent, relatable engagement, many men simply tune these messages out—leaving an entire population underserved not just by care, but by the outreach designed to bring them into it.

Taking the First Step

Solano and other health care professionals say the first step men can take to improve their health outcomes is to establish care before anything feels wrong. The hardest part is getting through the door. But once a patient is in the system, he said, there are supports in place to help him stay there

For example, Solano said Sam Rodgers will remind men that it’s time for their annual screenings. They’ll send a notice about flu shots and other vaccines.

“It doesn’t have to be a physician, even,” Solano said. “It can be a nurse practitioner or a physician assistant—anyone working in primary care.”

For men who face economic or logistical challenges, he recommends starting with a federally qualified health center. These facilities are designed to meet people where they are—offering extended hours, sliding fee scales, and help navigating common barriers, including transportation or the cost of prescriptions.

“We look at the whole person,” he said.

How to Help Him Access Care

Helping a man take the first step toward better health often requires more than encouragement.

Many men avoid care for reasons that go far beyond procrastination. Understanding those reasons can make your support more effective—and help change the outcome.

Challenge the “tough it out” mindset. From an early age, many men are taught to suppress pain, avoid vulnerability, and solve problems alone. Health care can feel like the opposite of that training. Normalize conversations about annual checkups or preventive screenings—not just when something goes wrong.
Address mental health without stigma. Depression and anxiety are common, but men often express symptoms differently—through anger, isolation, or substance use. Let him know it’s OK to seek help and that mental health care is as important as physical health.
Offer to help with logistics. For many men, taking time off work to see a doctor feels unrealistic—especially in jobs with limited flexibility or hourly pay. Add to that the challenge of finding a provider, understanding insurance, or arranging transportation, and it becomes easy to delay care. Help him identify low-barrier options, such as federally qualified health centers that offer extended hours, sliding fee scales, and support navigating the system.
Encourage him to find a provider who fits. Men who have experienced bias—especially those who are LGBTQ+, immigrants, or men of color—may have valid reasons for avoiding care. Support his preferences when it comes to provider identity, communication style, or language.
Be there, literally. Offering to go with him—to the waiting room or the exam itself—can reduce anxiety and make the experience less overwhelming.
Explain that early action saves lives. One of the most common reasons men avoid care is fear of bad news. But putting off that appointment doesn’t prevent the problem—it prevents the solution. Preventive care works best when it’s timely.